Dating and Domestic Violence | Student Health Services | SIU

Dating and Domestic violence

Domestic Violence, is any act of violence, on the basis of sex, committed by a current or former spouse or intimate partner of the Complainant, by a person with whom the Complainant shares a child in common, or by a person who is cohabitating with, or has cohabitated with, the Complainant as a spouse or intimate partner, or by a person similarly situated to a spouse of the Complainant under the domestic or family violence laws of Illinois or by any other person against an adult or youth Complainant who is protected from that person’s acts under the domestic or family violence laws of Illinois. To categorize an incident as Domestic Violence, the relationship between the Respondent and the Complainant must be more than just two people living together as roommates.

Dating Violence, means violence, on the basis of sex, committed by a person, who is in or has been in a social relationship of a romantic or intimate nature with the Complainant. The existence of such a relationship shall be determined based on the Complainant’s statement and with consideration of the length of the relationship, the type of relationship, and the frequency of interaction between the persons involved in the relationship. For the purposes of this definition dating violence includes, but is not limited to, sexual or physical abuse or the threat of such abuse. Dating violence does not include acts covered under the definition of domestic violence.

You may be in an abusive relationship if your partner:

• Slaps, hits or beats you
• Controls your money
• Calls you names
• Breaks your things
• Accuses you of cheating
• Wants to know who you are with – all the time
• Threatens to hurt you or your pets
• Forces you to have sex or have sex in ways that make you uncomfortable

Deciding to Leave an Abusive Relationship

It can be very difficult to leave an abusive relationship, and people stay for many reasons:

• Love for the abuser
• Believing the abuse may stop
• Low self-esteem and low self-worth
• Fear your abuser may out you if you are LGBTQ
• Fear of emotional or physical retaliation if you leave
• Not having the resources (money, transportation or housing) necessary to leave

Whether you decide to stay with your abuser or leave the relationship, help is available The Confidential Advisor can help you create a safety plan and gain the knowledge and tools necessary to stay safe.