Healthy Relationships | Student Health Services | SIU

How do you know if you are in a healthy relationship?

No two relationships are alike, but healthy relationships share a few common characteristics.

• Trust,
• Honesty,
• Mutual respect
• Open communication

It can be difficult to know if you are in a healthy relationship. It is important to remember that healthy relationships make you feel safe and supported.

Signs of unhealthy relationships include behaviors like

• frequent fighting or yelling
• jealousy
• possessiveness
• insults

These behaviors may not seem like a big deal, but some unhealthy relationships may become abusive. If you are not sure you are in a healthy relationship or would like to talk with someone about your relationship, you can do so by contacting the Confidential Advisor (link to survivor page).

Setting Boundaries

Another important part of communicating with your partner about sex is setting boundaries. You have the right to tell your partner what you like and what you are not willing to do. Try using some of the following phrases to get the conversation about boundaries started:

• I want to stop when…
• I’ll only do that if we use a condom.
• I’m not into that.

What is Sexual Coercion?

Sexual coercion is one aspect of sexual abuse that is often overlooked. Sexual coercion is when someone makes you feel pressured into, or forced to engage in sexual activity. Someone that uses coercion might:

Repeatedly encourage you to engage in sex: “Come on, I know you want to!”

It makes you feel guilty for saying no: “But I thought you loved me.”

Badger you, beg you or ask you repeatedly for sex after you have said no: “Come on. Please? Why not?”

React negatively (ignore or yell at you) after saying no: “You are so stupid! I don't want to have sex with you anyway!”

Give you drugs or alcohol to loosen you up or lower your inhibitions: “Why don't you have a drink to loosen you up?”